you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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