So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
