you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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