I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
