Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
