like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
