Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
