idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
