I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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