don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
