seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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