do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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