ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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