Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
