he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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