i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
