AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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