That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Randomize
