i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
