who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
