Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
