I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
