i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
