I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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