haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
