i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
