A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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