She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
If I die, sorry about rent.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
