And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
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