Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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