He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
