Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Randomize
