Whatcha textin bout Willis?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
