I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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