i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
