I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
