covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
