Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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