ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
