My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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