You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
