Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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