i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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