Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
In America we eat man semen.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
