I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
