Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
