There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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