i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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