yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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