we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
